Monday, June 10, 2013

I’m adjusting to change

I’ve been trying hard. Indeed, trying real hard to update my blog. But I couldn’t.  I’m so disheartened – literally. This blog has remained barren for almost one month now. 

I open it now and then. And it feeds my mind. Frustrated. Sad. It, too, brings tears in my eyes. The truth is that one of my friends has borrowed my laptop for a few months. Coz he needs it more urgently than me.

And these days, I’ve been relentlessly trying hard writing stories in my office desktop computer. I always stay late evening after office hours desperately hoping to write stories. But I cannot.

Even on weekends, I run to my office hoping this time I can write. I stand in front of my PC, lost, like a scarecrow. Nothing comes out. Not even a sentence. No creativity being born in me, no words coming. Only a knot air of stark emptiness fills in my mind. Perhaps this post of insignificance says all about the emptiness that I have in me.

I turn sad. I become angry. But I don’t give up. Because I love writing and I can never part from it. Then, immediately I rush back home and frantically scribble on my note book. This, too, begets no result.

Oh, I cannot write stories anywhere else - except at my home, in my laptop. It’s so strange. Even to me, though. I’ve realized this today; yes, only right now. By the way, it talks a lot about me: my disposition; the type of person I am.

I was really a kind of person holding-onto-a-thing-and-never-let-it-go. I disliked change. Because it’s very difficult for me to let things go and readjust myself to the change. I never thought before that I was so used to writing at home and in my laptop. And writing elsewhere was difficult for me.

But my friend who has borrowed my PC has taught me a good lesson. That we live in a world of transition. That we change. That everything around us transit. Whatever we’re holding onto, we just have to let them go and learn to readjust. After all, growing up means letting go, isn’t it?

Right now, here, in front of my office desktop computer, I wrote this post. Yes, I’m adjusting to change now. I am learning to write blog stories from here. Ah, I feel good now!

Pic courtesy: google


  1. The image for the blog is amazing and it is overwhelming.
    I was just wondering about my blog that has been laying lazy and empty for couple of months or may be 2 months at the least. Since I am at home and I have my lap top, I am thinking of posting something anything later. I hope I made you jealous here. Just kidding. Smile!!!
    I can understand the feeling of not having your things that belongs to you. It is a feeling of an utter dismay.
    Take care Rikku Sir and keep posting!!! :~

  2. Mr.Subba,
    you write quite well but i would insist you not to use short forms like 'coz' and also never start a sentence with 'because" or 'and' after full stop. Otherwise your works are superb.Take it positively alright.