A letter of felicitation to Miss Bhutan 2010

Dear Retty,

Congrats for winning the Miss Bhutan 2010 crown! We're proud to have you representing the nation at the Miss World pageant in China.

However, changing times have brought different definitions of beauty. And today, the prestigious Miss Bhutan title asks for more than having a pretty face, perfect figure and winning the crown. It demands you to be beautiful from within too, and the position will give you a great opportunity to give back to your society.

I think you know that charity work is integral to the beauty pageant ethos. In each country the crowned queens volunteer their time or fundraise for charity. They involve in the humanitarian works, counterpart with non-governmental organizations and support conducting non-political events to collect contributions from the partners, sponsors and fellow supporters to support the underprivileged ones. Thus, the Miss Bhutan crown also asks a greater time and responsibilities from you. It sincerely asks for your self-effacing commitment and willingness to serve our society. Social, cultural, religious and charitable activities are the qualities that you should fulfill.

Let me tell you this. Some international beauty queens have raised money, clothing and books for those poor children in far-off areas which were highly recommended by the critics. Since 1998, each Miss USA has spent  days and months educating the public about breast and ovarian cancer. Due to her participation in the events like breast cancer walks, seminars and telethons, they could raise millions of dollars for research and treatments.

As Miss Bhutan, you can also bring smiles and happiness to the hundreds of the needy people all around our country. You can also contribute to our society by promoting our culture and tourism thereby propagating the real essence of GNH globally.

To begin your noble journey, you can visit the Patient Guests House at JDWNRH where more than 33 homeless people and kidney patients who are undergoing dialysis are housed. Work with the concerned NGOs organize events for fundraising or organ donations. You may also visit the Memorial Chorten and help those homeless senior citizens  building old age home for them. Even a plate of rice a day would be a luxurious meal for them.

Because 500 people (UNAIDS, 2006) are living with HIV/AIDS in Bhutan and the victims of this disease are innocent housewives (women) and children, you as Miss Bhutan have the job of working with the concerned NGOs and traveling the country to speak on HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention. By educating yourself about HIV/AIDS, lending a helping hand and making a donation, you too can help.

Because Bhutan has half the population of youth, because youth are unemployed and are into substance abuse or gang violence, you can advocate their issues to make them productive citizens.

Because about 23 percent of the Bhutanese still live under poverty line, because they live in absolute poverty six months a year, you can work towards alleviating hunger and malnutrition. You can start an advocacy initiative to raising the awareness, political will and funding necessary to eliminate poverty in the country.

Because domestic violence is prevalent in Bhutan (112 cases reported in 2006), because underprivileged women are the victims of the domestic violence, you can work with various NGOs to advocate the issues of women to capacity building and empowering them.

In your reign of two years, I and all the citizen of Bhutan heartily expect that you work to save lives, empower underprivileged people and ensure quality care for all.

Thank you,

All the best for your contest at Miss Earth pageant!

Yours well wisher.

A Letter of Consolation to my Bachelor Friend

Dear friend!

I hope you're enjoying your new job in the eastern Bhutan. How's your health and your new home?

You know after you left for your job lots of things happened here in Thimphu. Our friend Dawala is recently paired up with a beautiful girl and he's planning to settle down after his girlfriend completes her post-graduation from India. Pemala, that most carefree friend among us, has married his long-time girlfriend, Yangki. They are happily settled down. Very sad, Chenda impregnated a girl when he was on teaching practice at a remote school and now he is married too.

I'm doing well and everything is perfect here. Wangmo, my girlfriend is also doing great and as always we're very happy and planning to marry very soon.

Are you still trying on to a woman about whom you told me last time?

Dear friend, don’t burden yourself thinking that you're still single and  that all your friends are married or paired up with their girlfriends. Be happy single. Don’t insist yourself into a relationship which will hurt you ultimately. Love, you can never force into it. It should happen. Just wait. Following are some ADVICES I would like you to think over seriously:

1. Ignore peer pressure: In a couple-driven society like ours, you come across people who wonder why you're “single”. For them, it looks as if the ultimate goal in life is to pair up with another human being and your life depends on him or her. They might even start thinking that something is really "wrong" with you if you're single. Gay? Or Impotent? Or Biological defects? Ignore these people. Just say "I prefer being single” when they ask you about being single.

2. Focus on friendship: Being single doesn't mean to stay lonely. When you're single, you've more time to do a variety of things like making new friends, practicing compassion and social activities.

3. Enjoy your freedom: You've a lot of opportunities to try on new things. You'll be deprived of all these chances if your partner doesn't like what you do.

4. Appreciate the absence of compromise: It's generally believed that compromise, sacrifices are essential to a healthy relationship. You've been in a relationship before, you realized how much stuff you had to give up in order to make that relationship work. A relationship can add many good things to your life, but it also adds some rigidity, frustration, so take the time to appreciate your current flexibility.

5. Cherish the excitement: When you're single, the future is completely open. Today you're at your desk, and a year from now you might be camping at Mt. Everest.

My dear friend, I hope you would take my advices seriously and work towards being optimistic and happy in your single life. Being married is a lifestyle choice, not a requirement. Therefore, being single is a lifestyle choice and not a default option.

It's also possible to choose to be single. There are advantages to being married just as there are disadvantages to being married. Similarly, there are advantages to being single as well as disadvantages. Whether one is married or single is nothing more than a lifestyle choice. Be happy.

With best wishes!

Yours friend, Mindu

Poor show in a teacher-parent Meeting

Just a month ago, I attended a teacher-parents meeting at a school in Thimphu. I am not the parent of the student to whom I attended the meeting for. Rather, I was forced by my brother to attend the meeting for his son.

He told me he was busy with his other “urgent” works and his wife seemed too busy with her household chores. Although reluctant, I attended the meeting.

I was very shocked when I saw the number of parents attending the meeting. I scanned my nephew’s classroom (class 4). I counted the heads; there were only 11 parents for the 55-student-classroom. Rest of them, 44 parents, missed the meeting. A poor show from the parents’ side, I guessed then.

Another unfamiliarity situation caught my confused attention again. This time it was young group of parents who came for the meeting. Some of them are as young as the students of class four. Does it mean that they were also forced into attending the meeting like me? Or are they also proxy of the parents like me?

Today most of the parents are always busy with their ‘busyness’. They value their materialistic business over their children. They don’t give their time and support to their children.

Our parents should realize to give enough quality time to their children. Alongside their children, we have to manage, devise and pass on our skills and experience to them.

Supporting in children growth, we have to recognize their works and progress. Thus, we are unanimously acknowledging the importance of young people and their critical role they play in the community and the developments.

A Spring Bathe

I grew weary of my situation. Every day appeared a long-drawn, arduous and painful event. Confined in a room, I recklessly spent entire day in a monotonous daily routine-wake up in the morning, read novels and newspapers, eat, roam town, read again, eat, watch TV and sleep. 

My brother and his wife, with whom I put up, leave for their office early. Their only pampered and notorious son also goes to his school very early to copy home works from his friends. My friends, who used to be around me, started busying themselves with their newer responsibilities. 

Alone and orphaned at home, it seemed I was living in a breathless boredom and I felt a great emptiness within me, which then fills with sullen madness. I was sorely in need of human company, comfort and sometimes my heart sank so fast with rage, despair and weariness. 

It was in the last spring. As the sun was beginning to set, I thought of going on a quick stroll above Babesa valley which seemed a perfect proposition to escape myself from this unpleasant loneliness and boredom. 

I thought of hiring a cab but I reasoned myself, “When my feet were still strong why I need a cab?” Immediately I moved out of my depression-breeding-space from Changzamtog. The sky was cloudless and warm.

As soon as I appeared on the road to Babesa, a massive jumbo truck horned with such a thunderstruck emitting a cloud of stinking smoke. Yuck, it nearly broke my ear dumb and affected my vision for some time. 

After half an hour I reached Changjiji where I met with a hurricane of dust blew by the wind. It powdered my body with sticky dust and my nose started burning. The pedestrian’s footpath was parked on and blocked by vehicles. The dusty highway was further disgusted by the high-speeding and honking vehicles. The footpath was also polluted with human waste overflowing from the monstrous buildings. These are beastly creation of man, I moaned. 

Half a mile away, the Olakha automobile workshop complex perched at the edge of Simtokha valley. The scenes were so absurdum and demoralizing with young boys as young as eight years working as a mechanic helper. I took a rest on a milestone near the complex, when a young couple arrived. The couple was rather a gloomy pair who looked as though they carried the whole burden of the world on their heads. In a lighter frame of mind, I had presumed they were married in haste, now repenting in leisure. 

I felt sick of giddiness and runny nose when I reached the IMTRAT canteen in Babesa. But without wasting a minute I vigorously climbed uphill from Babesa. After a dozen of minutes walk of nose touching hill, I reached a deep forest marked by a farm fence. The sun majestically stood atop the mountain in the west and bidding goodbye to the vale. 

Oh jeez! The vale was very beautiful and green and lush with new leaves and flowers that contained so much to admire. The aroma of spring was amazingly strong. 

I sat on a huge rock, my eyes feasted upon beautiful green trees and bushes. It was a wondrous spectacle to sit, view and cherish the green after long time. In a minute I vanished into the interior of the woods.

The woods sheltered birds, bees, insects, butterflies of any kind. There was not the least foreign matter-no vehicles, no buildings, no dust, no waste and no noise. There was no human, no vanity, no anxiety, no rich and poor, no hatred, no corruption, no slavery, no fraud and no crime. Nothing at all! Trees sprouting flowers and leaves and bushes growing green upon which cows fed so graciously. Flock of birds squeaking, chirping, twittering and swirling around.

In a fury of excitement I couldn’t stay still and ah, I started jumping and running up and down. So, in the spring, I bathe, allowing fresh fragrance to suffuse every particle of worldly dust that had stained me. It watered my deserted heart, soul and body. Oh God, my fear, frustration and suffering were forgotten. My pains and aches dissolved so automatically. It was a bathe in pure, clean, dust free nature.

Sex and the Youth

Every time I look at my niece who is just 10-year old, I wonder in grim awestruck. Although brought up in a strict family, she is into relationship-she has a boyfriend. Yes, even at that age!

In another case, I met a boy of 12-year old who told me that he feels inferior staying without a girlfriend because his classmates would persistently poke him for not having a girlfriend.

"When their friends explicitly indulge in sex talk and consider it as great fun they begin to feel the pressure within and relate it directly with self esteem," says my counselor colleague who is right now counseling the “disbanded” gang members at Department of Youth and Sports.

“They feel overwhelming pressure to do to what their friends are doing. They are compelled to do so because she or he wanted to be accepted as the hottest girl or good looking boy in their friend circle,” he added.

The trend to be in a relationship is now becoming an ‘image responsibility’ among our young friends.

Love or no love, everyone is doing it. It is the pitch for having sex. Virginity is “century”. One-night stands and no emotional baggage is “cool”. Live-in relationship is “modern” whereas marriages are just another boring ritual.

Pressure from friends, portrayal of western culture and media exposure has brought casual sex as a trend. Now there are condoms for twelve-year old boys. But is their mental and emotional aptitude to be forsaken? The situation can be a reverse if a girl gets pregnant or infected with incurable diseases. All of these can be exceedingly challenging on a her mental health.

Sense of morality differs with different people, but impressions at a young age can affect a person’s whole life.

In such cases often people may end up feeling depressed or guilty. There could be personality changes as emotional upheavals and panic attacks have tremendous impact on a person.

I definitely blame the narrow mindset of our parents who forbid talking about sex with their children.They want to cocoon their children away and suppress what nature intended to be perfectly natural. What parents need to understand is that sex education is important to teach youth a responsible sex. We need to consider casual sex as a part of lifestyle in teen years and it’s urgent that parents catch up with their children just in time and advise accordingly.

Our parents should say in open, “Use protection for sex,” rather than “I will beat you if I find you having a boyfriend” or "Sex is dirty" or "Sex is wrong".

Otherwise why are youth of the opinion that pre-marital sex is always good?

Picture: Google picture

To Destiny's own Mighty Grasp!

I was the first passenger to get into a cab traveling to Paro. “Wait for sometime, kota. I need to find three more people,” the cabbie of mid 30s told me and set out hunting for more passengers. It’s early September, a day on which the temperature has fallen, fetching the first true cool air of the year in Thimphu.

I sat by the window and looked around the crowded Luntenzampa bus station wondering, rather less casually, who my fellow passengers would be. Outside, the station was a miniature world in every sense. It hummed with activities-cabbies fighting for the passengers, hawkers begging, momo and doma sellers crying out, “Momo! Momo!” or “Doma! Tiru nga!”

Here too “survival of the fittest” remained the order of the day. 

The first to arrive was a lady. She wore red tego and mathra kira, heavy lipstick, strong perfume-all fighting against the universal phenomenon called “ageing”. She smiled faintly as she made a grand entrance. “Hellow,” she greeted me, foraging her blue handbag which was in stark contrast to her dress colour. “Hi,” I said, just out of courtesy, although I was in no mood for conversation.

Shortly afterwards, two young girls arrived. “Songo tshangpa! Now let’s go,” shouted the cabbie. The young girls were students on a weekend visit to their homes in Paro. Their conversation, their accents and their mannerisms-all spoke a life of luxury with loads of money to spend. Their non-stop natter of good looking boys in their schools, of their ex-boyfriends, of lopoen Karpolas and Kakurus, of test papers and Korean movies went on and on.

As the sun set we moved out of the busy Thimphu city. The cabbie put on a eye-shades, seemingly the cheap one from Jaigoan supermarket. Perhaps to impress the three lady passengers, but surely a misplaced of fashion, I mused at his lack of knowledge on fashion.

The girls slept on each other’s laps and a complete silence ensued. Outside the window, I could see the lights and concrete buildings decreased in number gradually. A few number of houses and shops perched on the hills and nearby the Wangchu produced the lights like fireflies here and there. And then, total darkness embraced us after crossing the Bzeezam immigration check post.

The cab racketed on and on through the wilderness. The country lights again on the increase, then the city lights and the Paro town. A cyclical process like life itself the philosopher in me couldn’t help thinking, with light and darkness alternating, noise and silence alternating, love and hate alternating, joy and sorrow alternating…a free roller coaster ride from birth to death!

Inside the taxi, the young girls were looking pictures of a magazine. It’s the Yeewong magazine. On the glossy cover was the first aspiring Miss Bhutan Chokye Tshomo Karchung. The daily national newspaper, Kuensel lay in my bag. I took it out and read the headline for several times-‘Drangpon dies in road accident’. I moaned for his untimely brutal death but also becoming melancholically romanticized by the nothing-is-permanent-on-earth dogma.

And the newspaper fluttered in the wind, begging to be released from my grasp, to fly out into the Unknown. Slowly, I let go off the paper. Out of the cab window, it flew-out into the Unknown.

I looked up at the sky from the car window. Infinite stars were up there. Do they decide the destiny of us mortals here on earth, I asked myself in wonder. The stars blinked at me, as if in reply.

Drayang girls observe International Youth Day

Every night at their own workplace they are being teased so filthily, coaxed and physically fondled. They have been looked down by the society. In every man's lips these groups of girls just carry a false name tag of "easy sex".

Maybe we have borrowed wrong connotations about this industry from other cultures? The drayng girls are not only to entertain their customers but also to avail themselves physically to men in their beds. This false connotation is being implanted in the mindset of our society too.

These groups of young girls of about 14 drayangs are just earning their bread to sustain their livings or support their parents or siblings. They choose this profession not by "choice" but as a"last resort" as reported by one of the national newspapers recently. Often they are being exploited by men and they have no choice but tolerate in smile, reads the paper.

May we give them a second thought and of course a comppassion? Let us forget them as a sex fulfillment or evening enticer for sex-hungry men. More humane or logical outlook should be provoked in every one of us as this industry is growing very fast and becoming popular. More and more of the young girls are being deployed in this profession and undeniably they are being exploited every night.

First of all they are one of us and one of our own sisters. Secondly and more importantly they are young people, innocent and vulnerable. Most of them are youth just below 20 years of age.

Like a youth brought up in a supportive family, they too need a space to grow, think about their future and require adequate supports in their dreams and achievements.

It is basically on this ground that Department of Youth and Sports (DYS), Ministry of Education has called upon and included the draying girls as youth from this year's International Youth Day which was celebrated last Thursday on August 12. With other 100 students from Thimphu dzongkhag, eight drayang girls have participated on the occasion which was to advocate them as a youth and need support in their challenging lives.

The DYS has pioneered to take this initiative to include the drayang girls as out-of-school youth.

Including the drayang girls as youth, DYS believes that we can fight against the societal ingrained infamous impression on them. We want to break this grimy connotation of these young girls and work out to support them in finding dignified jobs and providing counseling related to their health and other problems.

Now in collaboration with DYS, the drayang girls can come forward and raise their concerns and problems pertaining to their lives, health and jobs. Like any other school student, they can gainfully involve with various exciting activities that DYS offers very frequently for youth.