Saying on the wall

We all begin,

We’ll all end,

Live now.

                -Brenda Porter

I’ve this saying up on the wall of my office. I pasted those words up there as I wanted to live my life by it. Like it or not, but I wanted to live my life the way I’ve those words on the wall. And I can’t tell you how much this saying spoke to me.

I’d look on this tiny little paper and lose myself in these words. More than just words, a voice would speak softly, beautifully - which is to say - to my heart. Because it has all the meaning of life, which is accruing and right, I had been in hunt for. It alone would give me a pause for thought and leave me with an awakening feeling. That we all born, that we all going to die. Inevitably. So, let’s allow ourselves just to be, live now.  

But it’s just not fair and funny too, how we paste up words that we want to live by and then they become background to our room, invisible. Today, I hardly even notice them anymore though they are up there, always.  

The brutal truth is that I let myself lulled into the triviality of everyday existence. The demands of life keep me away from this saying, this truth of life. Different circumstances of life make me breathlessly bitter, irritated, and bored. And I sink into the feeling of being needy, anxious, despair. I limp around so bogged down, my mind restless, my body exhausted. I failed to live, miserably though. In fact, that’s not I wanted to be.

But right now, I sit here looking up at the words on my wall, in a little bit of innocence and wonder. These words pull me back to my core and once again offer a break from the harsh and demanding world around me. In these words, I find a deep sense of comfort and grace, so freeing and beautiful.

Looking at these words, I want to take one day, one moment, at a time. Love. Laugh always. Be happy. Just live. And I’m also going to believe that in the end everything is gong to be ok. Whether you’ve realized it or not, there’s the meaning and splendor in just living. 

And as I walk this winding, up and down, happy and frustrating, path of life, I’m going to keep believing that I can live by these words on my wall. Because I know that I need this, at least for now.