Struggling to write, but still writing on

Before my marriage, I had a few questions over which I pondered very seriously. Will I still be able to continue writing after my marriage? Will my wife understand my passion and support me?

After reflection, these questions would always leave me anxious, uncertain. In several occasions, I shared this concern with a few friends. Because writing has always been very close to me and it is a longing that always remains in my heart.

The reality, however, is that I am married now - for almost eight months. And I must tell you that it is an intriguingly wonderful journey.

However, if you are a person like me who is passionate about something like writing, you struggle. The truth about writing is that the more you write, there is more to write. You struggle toggling between your conjugal duties and pursuing the passion.

So bluntly speaking, I struggled to write, a lot. As my life transitioned into new stage, somehow, someway things got different, challenging too. Moreover, the marriage has enough rituals to keep me busy all day, weeks and months.

In the past, I had enjoyed the luxury of time for myself, particularly for writing and reading. It is different now. But writing means the same thing – it always requires a long and arduous process where you have to be alone, think hard, write and rewrite.

So every time I retreated to my room where I settle to write, I saw my wife wondering why on earth I cared so much about my laptop and writing. Indeed, it takes me away from her for quite deal of time.

Meanwhile, there were my friends and readers who sensed that I was already struggling to write and blog. They gently reminded me though, “Don’t stop writing as you are married now.”      

Like many bloggers who quit writing, I too contemplated this statement, I will write once I am fully settled. Or at least I would formulate wussy excuses like “I don’t have much to blog about”, or “I don’t get time”.

Quit writing…? It just gives me a chill just to think about it; it would be the hardest reality for me. There was a week or two or even three when I didn’t write anything and it gave me a miserable and unsettled feeling.

As hard and tiring as writing may be, I am learning to remain strong and committed to stay in tune and continue writing despite transitions in my life. 

The truth is that anytime we transition from one season to another, one place to another and one stage to another.

Dolly Parton rightly said, “We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.” Today, I feel very happy that I am still writing, blogging; indeed I am learning to adjust my sails.

I am struggling, but still writing on…