This is one blog post that
I’ve been writing, and also artfully avoiding. I’ve shoved it aside for too
long, for so many years. The truth is, my dear reader, this is hard to freely
write because I can never quite shake the guilt that’s coming when I write it. Every
time, I hesitated. However, for the better or worse, today I dare to write this
story, for you only. I hope that you would find pleasure reading it. So, I go
here.
The year was 2001. In
Bumthang. I was, then, a class nine student of Jakar HSS. And this incident
happened in this particular year, in that very place. More aptly, it’s November
11, the day when our beloved fourth King was born. It was the hugest occasion
in Bhutan, where the entire nation would splendidly celebrate the His Majesty’s
birthday.
In Bumthang too, on that
day, we were marking the 46th birth anniversary of our beloved King.
All the students and teachers of Jakar HSS gathered in a football ground of Chamkhar.
Also, thousands of the civil servants, farmers and business community of
Bumthang joined us in celebrating the day.
It was a brilliant and
beautiful morning, I still remember. In every one of us, there was a huge
excitement and festive feeling. In the ground, we spread in four different
houses, in neat sethra uniforms. Each
house had two lines (one each for boys and girls). The captains, holding banners
upright, stood in front of their own house. As usual, I stood at the back, end
of the line.
We were waiting for our
Chief Guest, a high official from Thimphu, to grace the occasion. Our hands and
ears turned as cold as ice as the winter in Jakar was extremely cold, bone
chilling. After almost one hour, the Chief Guest arrived. Everyone was alerted.
The event began, one hour
late, with the marching ceremony. At the backside, we were concocting plan to guzzle
the chang, fermented wheat, after the
event.
Then, our Chief Guest, an
old man, began his speech. No apology for late his arrival, though. Another
hour had just passed, and for the record, there was no sign of his speech’s end.
A few girls fainted cold, and were taken back to the hostel.
We all cursed that old man
for his never-ending insignificant speech; more curse on his late arrival. In a
while, our stomach started to grumble due to insufficient breakfast. We went on
cursing, this time, on our school principal. For, he didn’t treat us with milk
tea and boiled eggs in the breakfast. For, he didn’t arrange any meat curries
for the lunch that day.
I got very frustrated,
aggravated and snappy. I yelled, “What the hell with all this today? This damn
Chief Guest. Fucking principal. Stale black tea. Kewa curry. Does it mean that
our King is not going to live long?”
Actually I had no idea what
I was really even saying, and I couldn’t believe my own ears. I didn’t mean to
say it exactly. In fact, my choice of words is to blame. But this is one thing
that I should never be saying, by any means, anyhow.
Before I could take back my
words, a tall boy abruptly broke his line and started to charge on me. He was
known to us by his nickname, Fucking Asshole. Even the teachers called him by
this name. For he always used it everywhere, for everything.
Mad and furious, he
attacked me, “You fucking asshole, how dare you say that? ‘Our King is not
going to live long’? I will break your arse, fucking asshole!”
A loud sound began to erupt
as we engaged in a heated argument. The Chief Guest was still blabbering, and
in the ground there and back, we entered into a dreadful fist fight. Everyone
turned their eyes towards two of us, the old man’s speech completely ignored.
We kept on fighting,
exchanging incessant blows and kicks. But I don’t remember now for how long.
When we stopped, the speech had ended, and the program already over. After
that, we returned to our hostels; we had our lunch, the same kharang and kewa
curry.
Late night that day, when I
was about to sleep in the hostel, Fucking Asshole busted in my room. He was drunk.
Perhaps he should be. There was menace in his eyes; fury radiating from his
body. He slumped towards me, pulled off my blankets, and confronted me again.
I was thoroughly
headhunted. And in the dead of night, we involved in another fracas, this time
more brutal, loud. My room stirred up with terror; the roommates nervous.
As we fought, he stammered
and choked on his words, “You…fucking ass…hole, nooow I’m surely going to kill
you.”
Eventually, I realized my mistake and admitted it. I gave up fighting back with him, and let the shower of
punches and kicks fall on me. I got mercilessly beaten up and pain inflicted. As
Fucking Asshole left the room, I stood in my room like a hunted animal,
bursting into terrified tears.
Today, after a decade, I
still carry this incident with me, and the guilt clinging. But as I am about to complete writing this story, right now, tears flooded my eyes yet again. This time what
brought me to tears is Fucking Asshole’s exceedingly patriotic soul, his
bravery, protection and love for our King. As I cry here, as I drop this tear, as
I finally completed writing this story for you, I’ve realized one thing: my
heart lighter, my guilt cleansed.
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