Drag me to Hell

Advice: If you truly believe in the existence of God, Heaven and Hell, please don’t read this post. 

I had this dream recently. A dream, understandably weird! But what I found out in this dream may surprise you! It surprised me! Read on, and you’ll see how.

I’ll pause briefly here. Sigh! For, you’re making an audacious step to listen to my bizarrely weird dream. Gain yourself a good composure. Cool!

After my death, well, the Lord of Death examined my merits and demerits. After ascertaining that I had led a responsible and compassionate life, He deservedly sends me to Heaven. Common! Don’t envy me. It’s just a dream, and a weird one, ha-ha. I told you already, na?

And who wouldn’t be so excited about being ascended to Heaven? Exactly! I am extremely joyful as my ultimate truthful wish has been fulfilled. Aha! I attain eternity of peace and happiness.

Now you must be wondering how the Heaven looks like? You want me to describe it for you? Hmm-mmm, so here it is.  Oh jeez! I stand awestricken by admirably beautiful landscapes of Heaven and serenely flowing brooks and staircases. Guess what? Heaven has streets of pure gold, gates of pearl, walls decorated with every manner of precious gemstones. It’s a city of pure gold, as pure as glass.

Listen here, nothing impure ever exists here and the residents live eternally in the presence of God. In short, it’s a place of joy, peace and love. A pair of angels, identical to each other, who guide me to the Heaven, gently whisper in my ears, “This is place only the righteous shall deserve to attain.” Negative terms connoting adversity, hunger, pain, famine, rejection and anger seem unseen and unheard. Everything is literally perfect!

However, a sudden pang of missing-kind-of-feeling yanked up deep inside me. Funny, right? I start missing my parents, my girlfriends, my beloved siblings and relatives, my friends and office colleagues. Funnier is that they are dead too but are sent to Hell. What’s the use of coming here when all of my beloved ones are sent to Hell, I moan. Or is it just the earthly attachment that I couldn’t renounce yet?

Here, my friends and neighbors are seemingly Rimpoches, monks, nuns, lamas, bishops, popes, priests, Christian fathers, Brahmans and sadujis. Every one, en masse, engross in marathon-spontaneous prayers their Holy Scriptures unfolded in front of them. I desperately want so far as to say that they don’t have time to greet their new arriving guest. No one has time for each other. I feel disregarded and shamed!

I forgot to tell you that a system of rules of conduct or method of practice in Heaven is purely based on Drig-lam Namzhag. Or bura math kaho, buro math dekho, bura math suno, bura math khao is the mere institutionalized way of life here. I must say, rather angrily, that the freedom of expression and basic human rights is utterly denied here. Several occasions, I fall in love with those extraordinarily ravishing female angels, but I can’t express my true love. If I do, I will be doomed forever. Sounds weird, right?

All time I have to stay cross-legged saying prayers. The prayers are for those sentient beings dwelling in the Purgatory and Hell, they reason on me. Oof! I am exhaustingly bored here. Perhaps these are the reasons why all Rimpoches and Lamas do not stay long in Heaven. They are reborn again and again, come back to earth as Truelkus.

Remember, it’s easy to go to Hell. Just have fun, party with your friends, freak out with hot girls, drink and eat. You be what you are and do what you want to. That’s all. Very simple. And go to Hell.

And I have this simple justification in my mind, though regretful. Like Rimpoches and Lamas, I want to go back to Hell, reborn as a human, or as a truelku or even as a beggar. So I return to the Lord of Death and request him to drag me to Hell, a place of torment but it’s also a place where my beloved ones are and where I have the world’s freedom and rights or be what I am.

When I opened my eyes, it was morning, in my bed. Is this Hell? Whatever, I will be having fun, partying with my friends, drinking and freaking out, my freedom and rights restored. And going to Hell is obvious.