Mourning the fall of Chamkhar Town

We moved stealthily into a small town built of woods, roofed with black slates and planks. This town was encircled by a small collection of farms and scattered houses occupying a lush valley. Lakhangs and dratshangs were perched on the mountain cliffs which beautify spiritual valley and the serene town. Only a few buildings were concrete. Evening, I called it, as the Sun sat atop mountain in the west. It was March 9, 2001.

Unbearable cold outside and snow clad grounds and house roofs held me inside the car. Frozen to numbness, I was lost in a sheer oblivion and amazement until my uncle shouted at me, “Hello! We reached Chamkhar town, Bumthang! Come out for tea and momo before I drop you at your hostel.” Tomorrow, then, March 10, was I to admit at Jakar HSS.

First time, in my life, I traveled all the way from hot Gelephu to cold Bumthang as a school placement. Thus, first time in my life was I seeing the wonderful snow fall and had experienced the minus temperature.

I moved out of the car lazily and went to a restaurant to have tea and momo with my uncle. A hard wood hit on my forehead from the top of the entrance door as I was entering the restaurant. A blessing! I looked up in a bursting anger. I found it that hit my forehead, a wooden crafted phallus hanging atop the restaurant’s entrance door.

Embarrassment slugged me. However, to avoid my inevitable blush, I turned back and looked around the town but shocked to death, again, to have found that thing everywhere-every shop and building at the town has wooden phallus dangling from its entrance door top-some painted red, some brown varying in sizes.

Even more shocking was that extremely big dicks were furtively painted on the walls of each house. I only read about the significance of the phallus and Lam Drukpa Kuenley, the ‘Divine Madman’ in the Bhutan history text books but seriously I have never seen these things in my life. Mind you, not a single house was then in Gelephu had such things.

The restaurant cozy and bhukari heated, was ran by a Tibetan family. My uncle handed me Nu 5 note and asked me to buy doma from the shop. I went to a shop and asked for the doma of Nu 5. The shopkeeper told me, “We don’t sell doma for Nu 5. You can take this packet of Nu 10 doma.” But my uncle gave me only Nu 5 and I thought I would try another shop. I asked the next shop only to receive the same reply. After trying the fifth shop I realized that no shop at Chamkhar town sells doma for below Nu 10.

My uncle dropped me at the school hostel, then.

October 26, 2011 at 1:45 am, two days ago: The Chamkhar town was razed down to ashes by a dreadful fire. More than 66 houses and shops were burned down. The disaster killed two people and left 266 inhabitants homeless.

During four years of my school education at Jakar HSS, the Chamkhar town became very familiar to me; I knew each and every shop and the shopkeeper.

Every weekend or sometimes right after the class, I used to flee to the town with my bunch of troublesome yet can’t-do-without friends despite repeated beatings from the hostel warden and have written several statement letters to the principal. As usual, it was to drink alcohols or play snookers.

Another funny reason we used to frequent the town was that one of my friends, the best looking among us, had a girlfriend at the market. She has a shop at Chamkhar town. Real intention of this love story-was for materialistic gain only. It was not him who wrote the chit to this shopkeeper girl, but we “proxy” his name and sent the epistle without his knowledge. Immediately, she accepted it. Since then she became our “sponsor”, who had fed us with pocket money, foods and sometimes garments too.

But a bad luck has been awaiting for us, sooner. A dratshang monk has also been trying on her for the past several years. When we were drinking at a hotel bar of Sonam Hotel, we encountered this monk who was drunk too. He was with his five other monk friends. We had a dreadful fight. We were beaten mercilessly and thrown out bruised and hurt. At Chamkhar town, you know, monks are very much feared gang fighters and they are also snooker “champs”.

Later on I made friends with many boys and girls from this town. Some, still, I have good contacts. After the disastrous night of October 26, I phoned them and found them down and in grief. Some of them are planning to discontinue their studies from abroad after hearing the bad news.

There was a divorcee woman from Samtse who ran a small pan shop in the middle of the Chamkhar town. When I was preparing for the Civil Service exam last year, I used to visit her shop to buy newspapers and packet of doma for my sister. She used to tell me that she came all the way from Samtse, the poorest dzongkhag, to earn little here and give her three children good education.

Now I look at the wretched pictures of Chamkar town, rubble, the only remaining of the town disheartens me. Though the town was razed down to ashes, I still have the rich memories of the otherwise lively town. I still recall the moment vividly when I was hit with a hard phallus at the restaurant’s entrance door, the shop of our “sponsor” girl, and the divorcee selling doma and newspapers. The same Sonam Hotel where we fought with the drunken monks was the hotel where a man traveling from Thimphu to Trashigang was burnt to death. Alas! They all went into ashes.

Of Graduate Orientation and Unlimited fun.

In the morning sessions of graduate orientation, all the highly respected and intellectual Lyonpos and Dashos come and give their enlightening speeches to the hundreds of graduates. They propel three-five hours long “very very important” speeches soon they enter the hall. But the graduates called their speeches sleep-inducing-tablets. These dignitaries deliver their speeches in such a way that the listeners, graduates were not given breathe or an occasion to reflect on and analyze the issues discussed. All three hours pour on no-stopping monotonous one-sided speech. They bulldoze their opinions in our heads, lol. A MoWHS dignitary doesn’t mind trespassing the boundary and talking on quality of education.

The otherwise lively environment of the hall was poisoned by the monotonous and boring sleep inducing tablets (speeches). However, those graduates by bad luck, had numbered their seats in the front rows of the hall, had to pretentiously listen to the speeches.

Back-benchers start snoring as soon as the dignitaries make grand entrance. There was a girl who sits next to me. I didn’t see any one slugged into so peaceful slumber like her. Some sleep, but, for one or two sessions a day. But this girl sleeps as soon as the dignitaries arrive. Tall, lean and of course beautiful, she puts her right hand on her right edge of her neck and snores all day. She only wakes up for the refreshments and lunch but again goes back to peaceful sleep after returning the tea and lunch breaks. Perhaps she had worked so hard all those years of 15 years of her education burning midnight candle and waking up early morning to study. So, now, she would be taking all rest, sleeping. And that’s why we called her “Hibernating lady”. She spent entire orientation program sleeping.

Next to my House was another girl, tall and slim but not so beautiful like Hibernating Lady. During Q & A session, this girl has to raise at least one question to the concerned dignitary. As she sits next row from where I sit I could see her very close. We named her Shivering Lady because as soon as she wakes up from her chair to ask question to the dignitaries she starts shivering. Of all, her limbs shake so vibrantly. Her notepad clutched on her hands shivers too, but she cannot stop herself from asking the question. Yes, she is shivering lady.

Cell phone was distraction yet a good time pass during graduate orientation program. Like majority of the graduates, I also spent entire graduate orientation program playing games in my cell phone. And the record I set in my cell phone game on those days I couldn’t break even today.

It is like an epidemic disease when one activates his Bluetooth in his cell phone, followed by another and thousand other in a minute. Some exchanged their girlfriends’ photos, but most common activity was transferring or exchanging of porn stars images and sex video clips.

Finally, we were congratulated by the Labour Ministry secretary, the head programmer of the graduate orientation program, for cooperating with his team and making the program a success. He was a doctor by profession. He reminded graduates that unemployment rate in Bhutan was 3.7 percent and the major factor causing unemployment is mismatch of skills. Example, a doctor aspiring to become secretary despite acute shortage of doctors in Bhutan?

Note: Some ideas fed by Rekha Monger and Chencho Thinley

Beauty of Autumn

September has come and gone leaving me with little to say about it. October is nearing its end. The Season of Fall, Autumn is here. While the change from warm weather to cooler temperature is a difficult transition, but there are exciting things taking place outside.

Walking to your office, you may have noticed that the leaves have begun to turn to brilliant shades of yellow, orange and red. More apparently this is the season when leaves turn yellow, fall from the trees, and the world around is painted in the jewels of nature; hues rich and luxurious in warmth of gold, amber.

You will find road workers graciously raking the falling leaves. You will also notice in the autumn morning kids going to schools while their cheeks turn a rosy pink.

It's my favorite season!

If you have taken trip to countryside you would have seen the crops are harvested, cereals gathered and taken to the warehouses. Acres and acres of golden cornfields and sections of forest turned gold and deep red glowing in the afternoon sunlight.

The season of fall doesn’t leave anyone not inspired. It would always fascinate you with its aroma of sweetest beauty like the way it does unto me. The colour of yellows and cool breezes rejuvenates your otherwise muddled heart, right? And this is time when you wanted to conquer the world.

I sit nearby the window of my heated room on this cool crispy morning, and my neighbours’ children run-rounding around the courtyard, I am the one daydreaming, as the leaves flutter by the window to cover the ground. They are falling slowly, gently twirling on the ground and it is pride for me to rake the fallen leaves every morning.

With this beautiful season come delicious foods like apples, red chilli and hot foods like bathup with hot tea or coffee. Quiet dinners by the fire or sipping hot coffee with corn bread may be the favorite past time. Also enjoyable are watching movies while snuggled in soft blankets.

Fashion has its part in this season of fall. I love to try on sweaters and sweat pants. I also love a good scarf and a pair of boots to keep myself warm. I love the rain in autumn too, the slightly wild nature it has.

Enjoy the season to its fullest. Watch the leaves turn yellow, red. Let cool air soothe you. And don't forget to make some time for a cup of tea or coffee and a good book.

A Bhutanese film inspires me to steal others’ wives

Sometime ago, I went to watch a Bhutanese movie at a local theater. Along with my bunch of troublesome crazy friends, I booked tickets. I was excited, though. I was quite excited because I was watching the local production after long time back. Perhaps, the second reason could be I was fed up of watching Hollywood, Bollywood and Korean movies. The last reason could be Karma Wangzin, the film I was watching then was starred by my favorite local actor Chencho Dorji.

The story of the film is based on the protagonist, Karma Wangzin (Chencho Dorji) who falls in love head over heel with a married woman. And due to his true, platonic love to the keti (heroine) who is another man’s wife, Wangzin reaches heaven after his death. That’s the story.

Wow! A stealer of another man’s wife goes to heaven! A fantastic story line….

After watching this film I was very much tempted to steal others’ wives because there is no harm or sin in doing that until you show your true-mad love. Secondly my best local actor (hero) who is also my role model steals another man’s wife in the reel life. So why not me? Thirdly I can go to heaven after my death if I steal others’ wives. Now, definitely I will also start stealing others’ wives and go to heaven after my death. Ha! This is the impact of the film for me.

This film teaches a wrong morale to the already wife-stealing society of ours. Due to wife stealing or husband-stealing we have been seeing numerous cases of family disasters like domestic violence, child abuse, resorting to alcohol, mental trauma, divorces and family degeneration in Bhutan.

I appreciate the way the film portrays the love of the keta Karma Wangzin, so passionate, so true, and abstract. But I feel that the director of the film had misjudged his protagonist’s act and given wrong verdict by sending him to heaven after his death.

How can a wife stealer deserves heaven?

Karma Wangzin, the protagonist of the film is a dreadful sinner. He commits sin at first instance by falling in love with a woman who already belongs to another man. Secondly he commits even graver sin by intruding others’ private conjugal life and bringing interferences to them. Wangzin’s intrusion in her married life brings never-ending misunderstandings, frequent fighting and family disharmony.

Even Buddhism strongly defies stealing others’ espouses calling it a grave sin. So isn’t the protagonist deserves hell, despite his Bollywood kind of love and romance.

We may accept that the keti and her husband are not compatible and they are having some differences on which they fight every day. But the way the director uses the strategy of creating another crazy lover, Wangzin and making him to snatch the keti from her husband is morally wrong solution to solve this chronic relationship. May be the director of the film likes the idea of Karan Jahor, one of the Indian leading film directors, in his film Kabhi Alvida Na Kehena. But Karan Jahor received huge criticisms for encouraging adultery among the married people in this film, KANK.

The director of the film, Karma Wangzin should have taken another angle in the story to benefit the society and the problematic relationship he is portraying in this film. He should have tried to work out problems of the married life of the keti and her husband by sorting out the ingrained differences of the couple in a logical way or more practical manner. Compromises, sacrifices and giving time for each other are essential to a healthy relationship and they lack these qualities in their married life. These kinds of lessons should be portrayed to the audience through a masterly crafted action of the film characters.

Respecting the problems and concerns of one another is very essential in a healthy conjugal life. Or shouldering the responsibility of conjugal life seriously like giving each other full commitment and love and care should be the logical mantra to solve the problems of the chronic married life of the film heroine instead of dragging Wangzin to intrude into their married life and stealing her away from her husband. This story only encourages the viewers to steal others’ wives.

And for the keta, Wangzin, who deliberately tries to intrude into others' married life and steal a wife of another man despite knowing she is already married, should be punished by sending him to hell. This is how a film teaches the audience responsibly to respect others’ married lives, their relationships, their happiness and their privacy.

Now we would like to call BICMA’s attention to strictly filter the content of every film before their releases. It should thoroughly study the impact of the content of the film to its viewers and general public.

Since the Bhutanese film industry is more like a profit-making business to many local film makers. They go for more of entertaining the audience by screening beautiful ketas and ketis and portraying their undying love. Other ingredients include romance and beautiful songs.

To attract audience to make profit, undeniably to sustain their stand, most local filmmakers go against their ethics and disregard social responsibility of teaching audience a good morale through films. Every film makers should understand that their film content has huge impact to their viewers.

Problem talking with girls

I had problem talking with girls. I called it an “absurd-girl-phobia”. I was scared when I meet girls; I couldn’t understand why. When I was a kid, I was only interested in boys. For me, a girl was delicate, troublesome, mysterious creature, made up of long hairs and dresses and uninterested in doing that boys are fond of so much like playing football, wrestling and fishing.

Girls were also distraction in boy’s fun. Sometimes they intrude in boys’ enjoyment and spoil the fun. And if I had said anything rude to her she begins to cry. Oh God!

Girls were always seen playing with dolls, kitchen adorning, sewing the clothes and nick-knacks which never interested an aggressive noisy thing like me who run-rounded un-washed face. How strange the girls were from us?

Even when we were forced to come together by the parents or teachers in the social gatherings or school festivals, we were always ill at ease, and couldn’t stop from occasional insulting and fighting, pulling one another hair. Always we were at odds, boys vs. girls.

Moreover, I spent my entire boyhood at the boarding schools where boys and girls had separate hostels. We were not supposed to cross the marked boundary between the two hostels. A few times I was punished for trespassing the boundary while playing. And definitely, these led to the gradual development of impression in me that girls are some kind of strange creatures.

I didn't know how to talk, what to talk to girls and what to expect from them. Very sad when I forgot they were also humans. I still remember an incident when I was in seventh grade. Since I was very good in mathematics, other students used to come to me for maths problem solving. There was a gorgeous girl in my class and when she comes to me for the maths practice; all other guys were envious about us. The guys in the class were competing with each other to talk to her, to help her.

I talked very few when she was with me but I used to concentrated too much on solving the problems for her. Her presence ensnared my nerves and I sweat. I used to keep the maximum possible distance between her and myself as if a slight contact with her would poison my body.

One day she came to me to ask about the previous day home works. I was intensely nervous. Never before a girl followed me so recklessly and I was thinking how to avoid her. At once I gave away my notebook to her. You know what I did after that? I told her to give it to one of my classmates and I ran away from the spot instantly.

LOL! All these incidents looked very funny today. This immature problem continued for a few years until I attended the age of sixteen or seventeen when a gradual evolution of the feeling of respect and affection for girls started. I felt attracted to girls. Wow! A beautiful feeling!

Gradually I discovered that I can’t be happy unless I share my life with a girl. Sooner, I met the girl of my life; and now I also have many close good friends who are girls. At present I am learning to appreciate the essence of life together with her. I am approaching manhood and wishing to die old with her as one body and one soul.

Breaking the Code of Love

I lacked many things in my life, that I was only half a person

I wandered around seeking for my other half

And I found she, my other half

I saw in her the goodness, truth and beauty I have been looking for

My thirst for sincerity, sacredness has been fulfilled

When I found these qualities in her, I felt I didn’t lack anything

And I was less alone

I felt so peaceful, so happy, so content sitting by her.

Wherever I was I just wanted to be with her

I felt stronger, I felt powerful

I felt strong coz I have found a companion who can understand me

Yet, I felt all alone, in my own world

No one understood me and I understood no one

I was never happy with one person coz that happiness is so small, so delicate

A trivial crack in this fragile love brings an unlimited grief, so insecure

Limited love, temporary happiness!

Afterward, I wanted to love but not just one person

I wanted to love thousands of people and other living beings

I wanted to be associable with many people

I wanted to build a mind of great equality, wanted to build a responsible love

I discovered then, love could open up and become measureless

You are happy; your love is wholesome when you can relate to all people and sentient beings

That energy of love is pure, steady and everlasting

This wholesome love never hurts you, but grows stronger and become more protective



Can Bhutan try Futsal?

Futsal (five-a-side soccer), locally known as Tiger-5, isn’t unpopular among our youth. Often we find young people playing futsal creating their own little spaces in basketball and volley ball courts. More excitingly, young people are seen playing futsal in the overcrowded streets, courtyards, parking lots and roads. This shows how enthusiast our young friends about playing the game. The hunger and thirst for this game is exponentially huge.

It is exciting game for children as well as adults. So when the children love playing this game it is important that the government of Bhutan should satisfy their hunger by constructing many futsal courts in the country.

Firstly the game is very economical and safe, simple and fun to play. Futsal is type of soccer that is played inside on hard-wood floor and outdoor on a concrete court (confined area) with a low bounce ball, 5 vs. 5 (including goalie), with 2m (high) and 3m (wide) goal posts. An outdoor futsal court can be constructed at very minimal cost.

Secondly this game suits the geographical feature of our country. Making a football field or stadium in our country is environmentally hazardous. It requires a huge area of land and leads to cutting down of numerous trees and bulldozing the hills. Originated in South American countries of Brazil and Uruguay during 1930’s, futsal is maximum of 42m (length) and 22m (width) long, half the size of the soccer field. Therefore, it is the best place to find this beautiful game in Bhutan.

Thirdly, it is a very beautiful game. It promotes showmanship. Individual talent is executed and creates moments of beautiful play that is the by-product of creativity, imagination, mastery of ball through handling ball in a confined area .

Fourthly and very importantly, futsal quickly develop skills required for soccer: - balance, motor ability, agility and co-ordination, ball mastery, accurate and quick passing and receiving, perception insight and awareness. That’s why in US, Japan, Spain, China and South America futsal is hugely popular among the soccerholics (youth). Many star soccer players worked on their skills on a futsal court. In brazil, Romario, Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, Rivaldo and Robinho may be the perfect examples of player who began to build up their technical abilities in futsal before going on to their successful careers on the soccer fields throughout the world.

Pele once said, “I developed my skills playing Futsal in my home town in Bauru.” Zico, another footballer acknowledged that “It’s the best start for kids.” Futsal courts offer a home to those who want to play a pick up game of soccer essential for players’ growth and development.

Bhutan needs to take this step to fulfill the desire and needs of our youth. Like in any other game, the government should provide regional and national level competition opportunities in futsal. This game is the foundation to promotion soccer in the country.

Playoff format:

1. The duration of preliminary games, quarters and semi-finals are 30 minutes of regulatory time, (two 15 minute halves)

2. The duration of all FINALS are 40 minutes of regulatory time, (two 20 minute halves)

In case of a tie-full 5 minute overtime-No sudden Death.

Still tied-FIFA PENALTY KICK Rules.

A letter of felicitation to Miss Bhutan 2010

Dear Retty,

Congrats for winning the Miss Bhutan 2010 crown! We're proud to have you representing the nation at the Miss World pageant in China.

However, changing times have brought different definitions of beauty. And today, the prestigious Miss Bhutan title asks for more than having a pretty face, perfect figure and winning the crown. It demands you to be beautiful from within too, and the position will give you a great opportunity to give back to your society.

I think you know that charity work is integral to the beauty pageant ethos. In each country the crowned queens volunteer their time or fundraise for charity. They involve in the humanitarian works, counterpart with non-governmental organizations and support conducting non-political events to collect contributions from the partners, sponsors and fellow supporters to support the underprivileged ones. Thus, the Miss Bhutan crown also asks a greater time and responsibilities from you. It sincerely asks for your self-effacing commitment and willingness to serve our society. Social, cultural, religious and charitable activities are the qualities that you should fulfill.

Let me tell you this. Some international beauty queens have raised money, clothing and books for those poor children in far-off areas which were highly recommended by the critics. Since 1998, each Miss USA has spent  days and months educating the public about breast and ovarian cancer. Due to her participation in the events like breast cancer walks, seminars and telethons, they could raise millions of dollars for research and treatments.

As Miss Bhutan, you can also bring smiles and happiness to the hundreds of the needy people all around our country. You can also contribute to our society by promoting our culture and tourism thereby propagating the real essence of GNH globally.

To begin your noble journey, you can visit the Patient Guests House at JDWNRH where more than 33 homeless people and kidney patients who are undergoing dialysis are housed. Work with the concerned NGOs organize events for fundraising or organ donations. You may also visit the Memorial Chorten and help those homeless senior citizens  building old age home for them. Even a plate of rice a day would be a luxurious meal for them.

Because 500 people (UNAIDS, 2006) are living with HIV/AIDS in Bhutan and the victims of this disease are innocent housewives (women) and children, you as Miss Bhutan have the job of working with the concerned NGOs and traveling the country to speak on HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention. By educating yourself about HIV/AIDS, lending a helping hand and making a donation, you too can help.

Because Bhutan has half the population of youth, because youth are unemployed and are into substance abuse or gang violence, you can advocate their issues to make them productive citizens.

Because about 23 percent of the Bhutanese still live under poverty line, because they live in absolute poverty six months a year, you can work towards alleviating hunger and malnutrition. You can start an advocacy initiative to raising the awareness, political will and funding necessary to eliminate poverty in the country.

Because domestic violence is prevalent in Bhutan (112 cases reported in 2006), because underprivileged women are the victims of the domestic violence, you can work with various NGOs to advocate the issues of women to capacity building and empowering them.

In your reign of two years, I and all the citizen of Bhutan heartily expect that you work to save lives, empower underprivileged people and ensure quality care for all.

Thank you,

All the best for your contest at Miss Earth pageant!

Yours well wisher.

A Letter of Consolation to my Bachelor Friend

Dear friend!

I hope you're enjoying your new job in the eastern Bhutan. How's your health and your new home?

You know after you left for your job lots of things happened here in Thimphu. Our friend Dawala is recently paired up with a beautiful girl and he's planning to settle down after his girlfriend completes her post-graduation from India. Pemala, that most carefree friend among us, has married his long-time girlfriend, Yangki. They are happily settled down. Very sad, Chenda impregnated a girl when he was on teaching practice at a remote school and now he is married too.

I'm doing well and everything is perfect here. Wangmo, my girlfriend is also doing great and as always we're very happy and planning to marry very soon.

Are you still trying on to a woman about whom you told me last time?

Dear friend, don’t burden yourself thinking that you're still single and  that all your friends are married or paired up with their girlfriends. Be happy single. Don’t insist yourself into a relationship which will hurt you ultimately. Love, you can never force into it. It should happen. Just wait. Following are some ADVICES I would like you to think over seriously:

1. Ignore peer pressure: In a couple-driven society like ours, you come across people who wonder why you're “single”. For them, it looks as if the ultimate goal in life is to pair up with another human being and your life depends on him or her. They might even start thinking that something is really "wrong" with you if you're single. Gay? Or Impotent? Or Biological defects? Ignore these people. Just say "I prefer being single” when they ask you about being single.

2. Focus on friendship: Being single doesn't mean to stay lonely. When you're single, you've more time to do a variety of things like making new friends, practicing compassion and social activities.

3. Enjoy your freedom: You've a lot of opportunities to try on new things. You'll be deprived of all these chances if your partner doesn't like what you do.

4. Appreciate the absence of compromise: It's generally believed that compromise, sacrifices are essential to a healthy relationship. You've been in a relationship before, you realized how much stuff you had to give up in order to make that relationship work. A relationship can add many good things to your life, but it also adds some rigidity, frustration, so take the time to appreciate your current flexibility.

5. Cherish the excitement: When you're single, the future is completely open. Today you're at your desk, and a year from now you might be camping at Mt. Everest.

My dear friend, I hope you would take my advices seriously and work towards being optimistic and happy in your single life. Being married is a lifestyle choice, not a requirement. Therefore, being single is a lifestyle choice and not a default option.

It's also possible to choose to be single. There are advantages to being married just as there are disadvantages to being married. Similarly, there are advantages to being single as well as disadvantages. Whether one is married or single is nothing more than a lifestyle choice. Be happy.

With best wishes!

Yours friend, Mindu

Poor show in a teacher-parent Meeting

Just a month ago, I attended a teacher-parents meeting at a school in Thimphu. I am not the parent of the student to whom I attended the meeting for. Rather, I was forced by my brother to attend the meeting for his son.

He told me he was busy with his other “urgent” works and his wife seemed too busy with her household chores. Although reluctant, I attended the meeting.

I was very shocked when I saw the number of parents attending the meeting. I scanned my nephew’s classroom (class 4). I counted the heads; there were only 11 parents for the 55-student-classroom. Rest of them, 44 parents, missed the meeting. A poor show from the parents’ side, I guessed then.

Another unfamiliarity situation caught my confused attention again. This time it was young group of parents who came for the meeting. Some of them are as young as the students of class four. Does it mean that they were also forced into attending the meeting like me? Or are they also proxy of the parents like me?

Today most of the parents are always busy with their ‘busyness’. They value their materialistic business over their children. They don’t give their time and support to their children.

Our parents should realize to give enough quality time to their children. Alongside their children, we have to manage, devise and pass on our skills and experience to them.

Supporting in children growth, we have to recognize their works and progress. Thus, we are unanimously acknowledging the importance of young people and their critical role they play in the community and the developments.

A Spring Bathe

I grew weary of my situation. Every day appeared a long-drawn, arduous and painful event. Confined in a room, I recklessly spent entire day in a monotonous daily routine-wake up in the morning, read novels and newspapers, eat, roam town, read again, eat, watch TV and sleep. 

My brother and his wife, with whom I put up, leave for their office early. Their only pampered and notorious son also goes to his school very early to copy home works from his friends. My friends, who used to be around me, started busying themselves with their newer responsibilities. 

Alone and orphaned at home, it seemed I was living in a breathless boredom and I felt a great emptiness within me, which then fills with sullen madness. I was sorely in need of human company, comfort and sometimes my heart sank so fast with rage, despair and weariness. 

It was in the last spring. As the sun was beginning to set, I thought of going on a quick stroll above Babesa valley which seemed a perfect proposition to escape myself from this unpleasant loneliness and boredom. 

I thought of hiring a cab but I reasoned myself, “When my feet were still strong why I need a cab?” Immediately I moved out of my depression-breeding-space from Changzamtog. The sky was cloudless and warm.

As soon as I appeared on the road to Babesa, a massive jumbo truck horned with such a thunderstruck emitting a cloud of stinking smoke. Yuck, it nearly broke my ear dumb and affected my vision for some time. 

After half an hour I reached Changjiji where I met with a hurricane of dust blew by the wind. It powdered my body with sticky dust and my nose started burning. The pedestrian’s footpath was parked on and blocked by vehicles. The dusty highway was further disgusted by the high-speeding and honking vehicles. The footpath was also polluted with human waste overflowing from the monstrous buildings. These are beastly creation of man, I moaned. 

Half a mile away, the Olakha automobile workshop complex perched at the edge of Simtokha valley. The scenes were so absurdum and demoralizing with young boys as young as eight years working as a mechanic helper. I took a rest on a milestone near the complex, when a young couple arrived. The couple was rather a gloomy pair who looked as though they carried the whole burden of the world on their heads. In a lighter frame of mind, I had presumed they were married in haste, now repenting in leisure. 

I felt sick of giddiness and runny nose when I reached the IMTRAT canteen in Babesa. But without wasting a minute I vigorously climbed uphill from Babesa. After a dozen of minutes walk of nose touching hill, I reached a deep forest marked by a farm fence. The sun majestically stood atop the mountain in the west and bidding goodbye to the vale. 

Oh jeez! The vale was very beautiful and green and lush with new leaves and flowers that contained so much to admire. The aroma of spring was amazingly strong. 

I sat on a huge rock, my eyes feasted upon beautiful green trees and bushes. It was a wondrous spectacle to sit, view and cherish the green after long time. In a minute I vanished into the interior of the woods.

The woods sheltered birds, bees, insects, butterflies of any kind. There was not the least foreign matter-no vehicles, no buildings, no dust, no waste and no noise. There was no human, no vanity, no anxiety, no rich and poor, no hatred, no corruption, no slavery, no fraud and no crime. Nothing at all! Trees sprouting flowers and leaves and bushes growing green upon which cows fed so graciously. Flock of birds squeaking, chirping, twittering and swirling around.

In a fury of excitement I couldn’t stay still and ah, I started jumping and running up and down. So, in the spring, I bathe, allowing fresh fragrance to suffuse every particle of worldly dust that had stained me. It watered my deserted heart, soul and body. Oh God, my fear, frustration and suffering were forgotten. My pains and aches dissolved so automatically. It was a bathe in pure, clean, dust free nature.

Sex and the Youth

Every time I look at my niece who is just 10-year old, I wonder in grim awestruck. Although brought up in a strict family, she is into relationship-she has a boyfriend. Yes, even at that age!

In another case, I met a boy of 12-year old who told me that he feels inferior staying without a girlfriend because his classmates would persistently poke him for not having a girlfriend.

"When their friends explicitly indulge in sex talk and consider it as great fun they begin to feel the pressure within and relate it directly with self esteem," says my counselor colleague who is right now counseling the “disbanded” gang members at Department of Youth and Sports.

“They feel overwhelming pressure to do to what their friends are doing. They are compelled to do so because she or he wanted to be accepted as the hottest girl or good looking boy in their friend circle,” he added.

The trend to be in a relationship is now becoming an ‘image responsibility’ among our young friends.

Love or no love, everyone is doing it. It is the pitch for having sex. Virginity is “century”. One-night stands and no emotional baggage is “cool”. Live-in relationship is “modern” whereas marriages are just another boring ritual.

Pressure from friends, portrayal of western culture and media exposure has brought casual sex as a trend. Now there are condoms for twelve-year old boys. But is their mental and emotional aptitude to be forsaken? The situation can be a reverse if a girl gets pregnant or infected with incurable diseases. All of these can be exceedingly challenging on a her mental health.

Sense of morality differs with different people, but impressions at a young age can affect a person’s whole life.

In such cases often people may end up feeling depressed or guilty. There could be personality changes as emotional upheavals and panic attacks have tremendous impact on a person.

I definitely blame the narrow mindset of our parents who forbid talking about sex with their children.They want to cocoon their children away and suppress what nature intended to be perfectly natural. What parents need to understand is that sex education is important to teach youth a responsible sex. We need to consider casual sex as a part of lifestyle in teen years and it’s urgent that parents catch up with their children just in time and advise accordingly.

Our parents should say in open, “Use protection for sex,” rather than “I will beat you if I find you having a boyfriend” or "Sex is dirty" or "Sex is wrong".

Otherwise why are youth of the opinion that pre-marital sex is always good?

Picture: Google picture

To Destiny's own Mighty Grasp!

I was the first passenger to get into a cab traveling to Paro. “Wait for sometime, kota. I need to find three more people,” the cabbie of mid 30s told me and set out hunting for more passengers. It’s early September, a day on which the temperature has fallen, fetching the first true cool air of the year in Thimphu.

I sat by the window and looked around the crowded Luntenzampa bus station wondering, rather less casually, who my fellow passengers would be. Outside, the station was a miniature world in every sense. It hummed with activities-cabbies fighting for the passengers, hawkers begging, momo and doma sellers crying out, “Momo! Momo!” or “Doma! Tiru nga!”

Here too “survival of the fittest” remained the order of the day. 

The first to arrive was a lady. She wore red tego and mathra kira, heavy lipstick, strong perfume-all fighting against the universal phenomenon called “ageing”. She smiled faintly as she made a grand entrance. “Hellow,” she greeted me, foraging her blue handbag which was in stark contrast to her dress colour. “Hi,” I said, just out of courtesy, although I was in no mood for conversation.

Shortly afterwards, two young girls arrived. “Songo tshangpa! Now let’s go,” shouted the cabbie. The young girls were students on a weekend visit to their homes in Paro. Their conversation, their accents and their mannerisms-all spoke a life of luxury with loads of money to spend. Their non-stop natter of good looking boys in their schools, of their ex-boyfriends, of lopoen Karpolas and Kakurus, of test papers and Korean movies went on and on.

As the sun set we moved out of the busy Thimphu city. The cabbie put on a eye-shades, seemingly the cheap one from Jaigoan supermarket. Perhaps to impress the three lady passengers, but surely a misplaced of fashion, I mused at his lack of knowledge on fashion.

The girls slept on each other’s laps and a complete silence ensued. Outside the window, I could see the lights and concrete buildings decreased in number gradually. A few number of houses and shops perched on the hills and nearby the Wangchu produced the lights like fireflies here and there. And then, total darkness embraced us after crossing the Bzeezam immigration check post.

The cab racketed on and on through the wilderness. The country lights again on the increase, then the city lights and the Paro town. A cyclical process like life itself the philosopher in me couldn’t help thinking, with light and darkness alternating, noise and silence alternating, love and hate alternating, joy and sorrow alternating…a free roller coaster ride from birth to death!

Inside the taxi, the young girls were looking pictures of a magazine. It’s the Yeewong magazine. On the glossy cover was the first aspiring Miss Bhutan Chokye Tshomo Karchung. The daily national newspaper, Kuensel lay in my bag. I took it out and read the headline for several times-‘Drangpon dies in road accident’. I moaned for his untimely brutal death but also becoming melancholically romanticized by the nothing-is-permanent-on-earth dogma.

And the newspaper fluttered in the wind, begging to be released from my grasp, to fly out into the Unknown. Slowly, I let go off the paper. Out of the cab window, it flew-out into the Unknown.

I looked up at the sky from the car window. Infinite stars were up there. Do they decide the destiny of us mortals here on earth, I asked myself in wonder. The stars blinked at me, as if in reply.

Drayang girls observe International Youth Day

Every night at their own workplace they are being teased so filthily, coaxed and physically fondled. They have been looked down by the society. In every man's lips these groups of girls just carry a false name tag of "easy sex".

Maybe we have borrowed wrong connotations about this industry from other cultures? The drayng girls are not only to entertain their customers but also to avail themselves physically to men in their beds. This false connotation is being implanted in the mindset of our society too.

These groups of young girls of about 14 drayangs are just earning their bread to sustain their livings or support their parents or siblings. They choose this profession not by "choice" but as a"last resort" as reported by one of the national newspapers recently. Often they are being exploited by men and they have no choice but tolerate in smile, reads the paper.

May we give them a second thought and of course a comppassion? Let us forget them as a sex fulfillment or evening enticer for sex-hungry men. More humane or logical outlook should be provoked in every one of us as this industry is growing very fast and becoming popular. More and more of the young girls are being deployed in this profession and undeniably they are being exploited every night.

First of all they are one of us and one of our own sisters. Secondly and more importantly they are young people, innocent and vulnerable. Most of them are youth just below 20 years of age.

Like a youth brought up in a supportive family, they too need a space to grow, think about their future and require adequate supports in their dreams and achievements.

It is basically on this ground that Department of Youth and Sports (DYS), Ministry of Education has called upon and included the draying girls as youth from this year's International Youth Day which was celebrated last Thursday on August 12. With other 100 students from Thimphu dzongkhag, eight drayang girls have participated on the occasion which was to advocate them as a youth and need support in their challenging lives.

The DYS has pioneered to take this initiative to include the drayang girls as out-of-school youth.

Including the drayang girls as youth, DYS believes that we can fight against the societal ingrained infamous impression on them. We want to break this grimy connotation of these young girls and work out to support them in finding dignified jobs and providing counseling related to their health and other problems.

Now in collaboration with DYS, the drayang girls can come forward and raise their concerns and problems pertaining to their lives, health and jobs. Like any other school student, they can gainfully involve with various exciting activities that DYS offers very frequently for youth.

One Night at Remote Posting

My best friend has been posted to a remote school under Zhemgang dzongkhag as a teacher. After a fortnight of his placement was announced, I accompanied him to his school. It was in 2009. 

His school is six hours walking from the nearest road. About 30 households scattered all around the school. The whole settlement is covered with corn fields at zenith, a stream flows serenely. There’s no electricity, no mobile network, and no BHU.

It was early evening when we reached the school, exhaustingly tired. Senior teachers of the school flocked to greet the new lopen. Other members of the locality also came with packaged gifts of local dairy products and arra. To be a teacher in a remote place earns an insurmountable respect, I knew then. 

Nearby the school, a CGI roofed and bamboo wall hut perched. It’s a shop that serves all the purposes to its locality. “Everything is available here. This is a one-stop shop,” informed us one of teachers who took us there.

I looked inside the shop with an insane curiosity. A corner, right side of the shop, serves a grocery. Vegetables were displayed on the floor. Just above it unarranged garments were hung. In the left corner were a few bunches of umbrellas and satchels. Fungid cookies and sweets were displayed in the counter table.

Senior teachers showed us a room inside the shop. As we entered the room, a woman in her mid 30s stood in a corner. 

“Sirs, which brand of beverages you prefer? HIT? Eagle? Druk 11,000? Or other hard drinks?” another senior teacher asked us adding that, “But here we always drink Druk 11,000.”

Now I knew that this room serves as a bar to this locality and illegal one too. “This is the only entertainment we have here. Every evening we come here and drink,” he said. He confessed that he never touched alcohol before but after being transferred here he became an alcoholic.

The woman from the corner said that she has a good stock of bangchang (locally fermented wine from millet). I felt that I should try it. From a huge container, she put about two kilos of bangchang in a pot and stirred it.

Ah! The bangchang is so tasty and strong. Senior teachers told me that it has about 20 percent of alcohol. The woman sat cross-legged in front of us. In a typical Kheng tradition, she poured the bangchang in my cup as I took each sip.

I felt that I had enough as I could remember that I had 10 cups of bangchang. But the maid was still there to pour another ladle full of bangchang in my cup and each time she poured, she says, “Shays sir, shays la.”

I realized, finally, that I can't take anymore. I denied. But I always lost to her enticing insistence and again left with another task to finish a cup of bangchang. “You don’t fit to become our son-in-law if you can’t take another cup of bangchang,” she mused at me rather hypnotically.

I didn’t know how many cups of bangchang I had that night. My other friends were so engrossed in their conversation and their drinking. Their talk ranged from the political parties and GNH to women and sex.

As time went on, I could only distinguish their talk from their laughter and in due course everything sounded like humming bees and blurring. I didn’t know anything that happened to me after that.

When I opened my eyes it was morning and I was sleeping in a strange place. The hangover was so severe that I couldn’t wake up from the bed right away. I felt so weak and sick suffering from giddiness. Slowly I could walk from the room to the toilet, but only to vomit again and again. I felt that I was nearing death. 

That noon, a group of villagers were going to the town and they agreed to accompany me. Instantly I informed my friend that I was going back home.  But other school staff insisted me to stay back, “Stay back, friend. We have volleyball match this evening. And the bet is one case of Druk 11,000.” Oops! Secretly I packed things in my bag and sneaked out of the place, unnoticed.

Photo courtesy: Tempa Wangdi